Be Careful Where You Park Your Mazda 323 in Nigeria
Just when you think there is nothing interesting to write about, along comes an actual news story from a well-known – and to the best of my knowledge – non-alcoholic news syndicate featuring a goat arrested for armed robbery.
Yes, a goat.
According to Reuters, Nigerian police are currently detaining a black-and-white goat on suspicion that he attempted to steal a Mazda 323 while armed and dangerous.
“Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest…
“The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat…”
It seems to me that if this were possible, all criminals would evade police by transforming into dangerous or elusive animals. Imagine you’re a male cop chasing a suspect on foot, when the perp instantly becomes an angry badger leaping toward your crotch!
You can’t really shoot it without risking further damage to your man features. Quite the dilemma…
Aside from badgers, I’ve also heard that weasel bites can be quite painful…
But, seriously, if you were trying to evade police and had the ability to shapeshift into some form of animal, wouldn’t you select something a little more elusive than a goat?
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The other guy is still on the lamb.
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 5:08 am:
Of course! That is classic! LOL
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Allegedly, Boy George tried turning into a goat after beating a male escort with a chain.
…it didn’t work.
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 1:32 pm:
Too bad, he would’ve become Goat Boy…
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I think I am too much of a chicken to commit a crime. Maybe if I was a goose…
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 1:34 pm:
Kitties usually commit the crime of extreme fuzziness…
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Well, this just may clarify how the guy who stole my laptop last night WHILE WE WERE ALL STILL IN THE HOUSE got away without our seeing him. (True story…see blog.) Wondered about that really big, goaty-looking cat in the back yard…..
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 1:37 pm:
I read your blog post, Kisa, and that is just too scary! At least you didn’t lose TOO much of your work… that would’ve REALLY sucked.
Sounds like the insurance company will reimburse you for the laptop — so, that’s a good thing.
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I’d become a bird. Easy to hide in a tree. Easy to escape by flying somewhere a police cruiser can’t drive. This guy was clearly a dumbass for “going goat” on the fuzz.
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 1:39 pm:
A bird was the first thing that came to mind for me too; however, I thought the badger worked better in the comedy department.
p.s. I love your line about “going goat.” That cracked me up!
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Maybe the story was confused in the translation and the Mazda turned into the goat….I hope!
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 1:41 pm:
See, now you’re talking crazy…
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Does Nanny Goats have an alibi for that day?
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 9:31 pm:
LOL I was thinking the same thing…
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and then the authorities ate the evidence … stating it was baaaaaaaaad
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 9:32 pm:
Comment of the week, so far…
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For some reason, I was wondering about Nanny Goats too when I read this.
Make me a bird, fly, far, far away. That’s what I’d do…or was that from Forrest Gump?
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William McCamment
reply on January 27th, 2009 9:35 pm:
How about a Flying Piranha so you could do some damage on the way out…
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Then they pulled it’s panties down and spanked it’s little ass! They were trying to dodge the teeth from the badger who was his accomplice as they were whipping it.
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William McCamment
reply on January 28th, 2009 9:03 am:
LOL! I can’t tell you how much fun it is to find one of your comments in the morning! It always starts my day off with a laugh.
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Read a story like this, and then we are expected to take these people seriously in the UN and during visits from heads of state?
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William McCamment
reply on January 28th, 2009 2:22 pm:
Good point! We have goat people running the world… What are we thinking?
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What is more illusive than the jackalope? They are even known to convincingly imitate the human voice, “He went that away!”
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William McCamment
reply on January 29th, 2009 9:20 pm:
…and, if they get cornered, they can use their antlers!
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Hey, I am renting out your flowbee. I hope you don’t mind. It’s on my blog.
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William McCamment
reply on January 29th, 2009 9:20 pm:
Flowbee’s for everybody!
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A goat once tried to make off with my BlackBerry. I didn’t think to report it at the time, but…
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William McCamment
reply on January 29th, 2009 9:23 pm:
Never trust a goat with a blackBerry. I had over 11,000 text messages on mine!
(note to GF: NO I’m not referring to you!)
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Me thinks the Nigerian police might have been having a little of that there whacky tobaccy….
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William McCamment
reply on January 29th, 2009 9:24 pm:
I’m thinking more along the lines of wacky LSD…
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well, there was a goat who was married to a man in Sudan, sooooo…..
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William McCamment
reply on January 29th, 2009 9:25 pm:
Those people sure love their goats…
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That’s Satani, he’s a trickster…
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William McCamment
reply on January 31st, 2009 7:12 am:
So, I guess I shouldn’t have signed that contract…
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well, i wouldn’t know, i have a policy of not shapeshifting in the year of the ox (a goat, i mean person, has got to have their principles, don’t you think?)
and thanks for the tip. i’ll be really really careful next time i park my car in nigeria.
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William McCamment
reply on January 31st, 2009 7:13 am:
Is this the year of the Ox? I thought it was the year of the rooster! But, then again, I always think that…
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Hilarious! But wouldn’t choosing to shapeshift into a dead rooster be more effective? lol
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William McCamment
reply on February 20th, 2009 2:10 pm:
Well, they’d have a tough time prosecuting a dead rooster, that’s for sure! LOL
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