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Do you cut the red wire, or the blue wire? Come on, the clock is ticking… 0:31… 0:30… 0:29… LESS THAN THIRTY SECONDS! As the senior bomb diffuser in the area, the Sheriffs Department of Burnt Toast, Wisconsin has called you in to save the city. So, which is it? The red one, or the blue one? You’ve diffused dozens of devices similar to this one, but this time, you have a happy little tune entitled, It’s a Small World, After All…, stuck in your head and it’s messing with your brain. Why, oh, why did you insist on diffusing an explosive device without wearing the proper protective gear!

Having a crummy little song stuck in your head can really ruin your day. Fortunately, I have a trick to get rid of the offending noise. For me, this method is nearly foolproof, and friends I have taught it to in the past have reported good results as well. Here are the steps:

1. Embrace the Menace. For some reason, your brain wants you to listen to this song. The more you fight it, the more intense and annoying it becomes, so just try to go with it for a minute or two. Go ahead an listen. Pretend you like it. I promise I’ll show you how to get rid of it completely, but for now it’s important to try and reduce your frustration a little bit.
2. Turn Up the Volume. I know this seems counterproductive, but this is the key to getting rid of it. Turn up the volume inside your head to the loudest possible level and try to keep it there. You will find that there’s a limit to how loud you can make it. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make it loud enough to hurt your ears. Also, notice that it’s difficult to sustain this high volume for more than just a few seconds and that your brain is now fighting to turn the volume down.
3. Tell Your Brain to Turn Down The Volume. Pretend it’s a radio volume control activated by your thoughts and turn it down as low as possible. Try and make it so soft you can barely hear it. Sometimes, this is all that’s required; the song just winks out like a tiny flame and it’s gone. If it’s still there, continue on to step four.
4. Switch the Station. If the song is still pestering you, it should at least be at a soft volume. Imagine a tuner control in your head and switch to another song that you like! Usually, when I do this I imagine that the new station with the song I like is at a higher volume and I still need to turn it down a little. For me, this seems to help obliterate the offending song and leave me with a song I like stuck in my head.
5. Let the New Song Play Out. Usually, I let the new song play, but sometimes I just want it quiet; so I tell my mind to reduce the volume once again and even if there is a faint trace of the new song, at least it’s a song I like. After a few minutes, though, it’s usually gone.

Try to have a few “go-to” songs for step four. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon album is one of my standards and is filled with songs that work wonders for me.

Good luck, and when all else fails, pray and cut the black wire.

Photo credit: PT.