The Spastic Dance of the Black Widow Spider Slayer

83 Responses to “The Spastic Dance of the Black Widow Spider Slayer”

Comments

  1. Thanks Matt! 🙂

    I love your “Room Mate Contract” but I prefer to smoosh them without warning. LOL

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  2. HeatherNo Gravatar says:

    What a great story, lol…I’m not afraid of spiders and don’t usually kill them…but…a black widow spider is a different story…I’ve never seen one up close and personal so I’m not sure if I would even recognize one…if I knew what it was I would probably freak as you did :0) Great picture by the way!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 6th, 2008 4:01 pm:

    The truth is, I don’t even like to kill black widows. But, I just can’t have them at the house because of their potential danger. They are common around these parts, but I have never met anyone that even knew of someone that was bitten. So, that’s a good thing. 🙂

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  3. HotMommaNo Gravatar says:

    This is such a funny piece but all at your expense _ I’m sorry but i just found the way you recounted it so hilarious. I hope you are not offended. But of course, it sure must have been a dreadful few minutes there for you. be sure to wear more protective covering next time.

    by the way, thanks for visiting my site.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 6th, 2008 4:09 pm:

    Offended? No way! LOL 🙂 I try to write posts that my readers will enjoy even if I turn out to look like a great big doofus. I’m glad you liked it and found it funny.

    I will probably be a little more careful with my spider killing wardrobe next time. 🙂

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  4. VixenNo Gravatar says:

    You approach and technique are sound, so you must have really ticked off Mother Nature to play such a horrendous prank on you. And then to add humiliation to it is salt in the wound!

    Get her. And get your brother too, not with the golf club…but somehow.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 16th, 2008 12:48 pm:

    Oh, I’ll get her! And, I’ll get my brother too! 🙂

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  5. WayneNo Gravatar says:

    Ok, that was funny! I can see the dance perfectly and I’ve done it too. I think I’m going to be subscribing to your blog! Keep it up and funny, the world needs it! Cheers!

    (too many exclamations perhaps, so your grammar shouldn’t faze me one bit 🙂

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 16th, 2008 1:09 pm:

    Welcome aboard, Wayne!

    The exclamation point is the most valuable key on the keyboard! Never forget that! 🙂

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  6. PatrickNo Gravatar says:

    I think it’s easier to catch them first. Clubbing them seems a little dramatic =)

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on July 9th, 2008 2:14 pm:

    Catching them seems a little dangerous–them being highly poisonous and all. 🙂

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  7. PatrickNo Gravatar says:

    Well dance!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on July 9th, 2008 2:15 pm:

    It just so happens I killed another black widow yesterday. I did not dance. 🙂

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  8. MilenaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m very ladylike (at least I pretend to be) so the guffaws totally took me by surprise. Loved this post. You are a funny as well as grammatically correct writer.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on August 2nd, 2008 11:16 am:

    Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂

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  9. lvsNo Gravatar says:

    thanks for submitting this post to the best three blog posts competition…..

    do you know how spiders communicate? They make people write blogs about themselves 🙂

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  10. RACHELNo Gravatar says:

    I KNOW HOW U FEEL I JUST KILLED ONE ON MY DOGS FOOD BOWL.I EAS GOING TO FEED HIM AN AS USUALL THER WAS ANTS IN HIS BOWL.SO I PICKEDIT UP AND TURNED IT OVER TO KNOCK THE ANTS OUT AND TO MY SURPRISE I SAW SOMETHING MOVE.WELL I DROPPED THE BOWL AND GOT A CLOSER LOOK AND THEIR SHE WAS IN ALL HER WONDREFULL GLORY AND NOT VERY HAPPY.SO I KNOCKED HER OFF THE BOWL AND SMOOSHED HER.I ALSO HAVE HOBO SPIDERS GET IN MY HOME I HAVE HAD ONE THE SIZE OF THE PALM OF MY HAND IN MY BATHROOM CREEPY.I HATE SPIDDERS! DID U KNOW HOBO SPIDDERS CAN BE POISONOUS THATS WHAT MY PEST CONTROLL MAN TOLD ME.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on August 27th, 2008 11:17 am:

    Wow! What an ordeal! I keep expecting one of my cats to play with one and get bit–I hope that never happens.

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  11. Do we have spiders in the uk that are venmous. Im really scared of spiders and i have loads in my house but i just wanted to know if they are please let me know.
    Jason

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on September 19th, 2008 4:10 am:

    Do they have venomous spiders in the UK? I don’t know; I’m more of an expert on how to squish them than whether they are poisonous or not. 🙂

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  12. spyDNo Gravatar says:

    Excellent story! I enjoyed reading it.

    Sorry bro, that you were terrorized by the fat girl! I laughed reading about your struggles, esp., your choice of weapons! Haha. I used my fist a few times.

    Garlic was used to ward off spiders in ancient Egypt, and I have used it since I learned of this. [not a superstition]

    While in Mexico, 8years, I encountered 8 black widows myself. All on different occasions though. One here, one there, all different places. Eventually, one of them got me, and I was comatose for a month and 8 days.

    I know when we speak of these matters, many think we are crazy. haha. Oh well. The ones who hear, are the ones who actually learn something.

    This widow encounter, is what was part of the making of spider-agent, the gifted seer of spiders! I would like to refer to your story one day.

    I’m working on some sites about this Black Widow situation, called BlackWidowProphecy.com and spider-agent.com

    I’ll share many things on this mactans, and will take 6months or more, as there is so much to say!

    Hope everyone knows to keep the cobwebs clean, and don’t stack up junk, and boxes against the walls, will help. Their webs are messy and they build their webs in messy areas.

    Shalom Shaleem!

    Your Friend on the Digital Web,

    spyD

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on March 25th, 2009 9:06 am:

    Great info, Spy!

    I’ll be checking out your sites. Thanks for taking the time to write such a great comment! I really appreciate it. 🙂

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  13. ChantelleNo Gravatar says:

    Wow that’s creepy. How many different kinds of black widow spiders are there do you know? My brother had one as a pet and I’ve been looking into more and more as she has laid 2 egg sacs and it’s creepy. I couldn’t imagine seeing 7 black widows outside!

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  14. BiteMeNo Gravatar says:

    In my portion of quasi desertlike Southern California, black widows are common. One of them crept in and bit me as I slept. In the morning, trying to step down six inches from porch to yard was excruciatingly painful. Once down, I could only shuffle, not walk. My chest and abdomen were tight and sore, and I suffered waves of pain every time I moved. I was weak, dizzy, nauseated, and not thinking very clearly. Too bad. It was a weekend. ER docs here won’t treat you unless they can actually see the venomous spider, which means your insurance won’t pay because it’s not deemed a “life-threatening event”. But the hospital will certainly bill you out-of-pocket for showing up at the ER so they can refuse to treat you. Perhaps I should have hunted a black widow down, smacked it around a bit, and taken it with me to the ER? Hmmm

    Then there was the time I found one lurking behind the toilet. I jumped back in horror. Luckily the broom was nearby, because it buzzed the room like a jet. I ended up flailing the broom haphazardly at the walls and floor, hoping to stun it. The spectre of it excaping into the living room was so threatening that I would have done anything to corner and kill it in the bathroom. Anything. Which I did, though I have no memory of how.

    Local politics are on the spider’s side. The landlord has lately installed stunningly low cost windows in this old house. They are wondrously airy. However, the window screen sits on bumper clips which raise the screen 1/4 inch and more above the sill. That open window is an invitation to mosquitos and flies and black widows, as well as itinerant new mice and cockroaches. But let us be realistic. Officials are not inspired to enforce City Health Codes after a well-heeled citizen landlord has put out money for spanking new cheap and airy windows, even if the screens rather obviously let in things that fly and crawl instead of keeping them out. I have been hometowned. With manufacturers like that, no wonder malaria is still not stamped out in the tropics.

    Two years ago I retrieved a tarp, and the 30 black widows it contained, from the small garage (ancient and sievelike and therefore cannot be insect bombed) which comes with this house. Yes, they do leap. I have never entered the garage again, because I wish to live. I am optimistic, however, because the owner says he plans to tear it down.

    I have stopped trying to grow a lawn. In the summer here it’s sizzling and parched, and water only encourages black widows and other insects. During one of my orgies of watering to keep a newly seeded lawn alive, earwigs came up in the night and covered the entire house like a plague of locusts. My next stab at watering my way to a lovely turf resulted in hordes of striped male black widows storming the front door as I came home late at night. Many large mature female black widows, with their nasty fire-engine red hourglasses exposed, were also hanging nightly from webs outside the house. Seems I water here at my peril. I thought of lizards, but realized outside cats would only eat them.

    No denying that steel-toed workboots clobber black widows, if you have trained your spiders to sit and wait while you take aim, that is. I have fond memories of the coastal city where I was born. There a stink bug and a few red ants in a vacant lot were a big deal.

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  15. gilbertoNo Gravatar says:

    omg samething happened to me the black widow was on the ceiling and i was goin to go work out but when i shut the door and it fell on my head i brushed it off really fast and i ran and no joke that thing started chaseing me so i went to the next door and shut it i dont it could fit under the door cuz that thing was as big as my palm but i was traped in that room until 1in the mourning with no phone i did not want to leave

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  16. LisaNo Gravatar says:

    LOL AH-HAhahahahaha! I loved this post!!! I would love to post it to my Myspace, if I have your permission? PLEEEEASE?!?!?!
    http://www.myspace.com/349135636

    Laughs,
    Lisa

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on April 19th, 2010 3:25 am:

    Sure, post it to MySpace, but tell ’em where you found it. 🙂

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  17. SallyNo Gravatar says:

    OMG! My bf is a total arachniphobe. But, lucky him, he got bit by a brown recluse last year. His skin melted off, it was so gross!

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    SamNo Gravatar reply on May 31st, 2011 1:39 pm:

    Ugh! I’ve seen that before when camping…it’s so gross, almost makes me scared of spiders.

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  18. JoeNo Gravatar says:

    Holy Sh** that’s a creepy picture…

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  19. dianaNo Gravatar says:

    Chlorox/lysol 4 in 1 is an amazingly effective black widowcide. Beats trying to corner a fast moving black widow who has a handy retreat available.

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