The Spastic Dance of the Black Widow Spider Slayer

79 Responses to “The Spastic Dance of the Black Widow Spider Slayer”

Comments

  1. Chelle B.No Gravatar says:

    OK, I am going to cry now. I have those and Hobo Spiders taunting me everytime I turn around here.

    I may not sleep tonight after reading this!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 1st, 2008 10:30 pm:

    I just googled “hobo spider” and I decided I don’t like those either.

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  2. JaneNo Gravatar says:

    OH MY GOD William….Eek I am glad that I do not reside at your house (although so would my husband be :P )
    I have a HUGE aversion to spiders, well all creepy crawlies really…I have a *spiderman* come in twice a year :) I would have absolutely landed the 5 Iron right on my brothers head for that cruel prank :P

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 5:06 am:

    Creepy things don’t really bother me too much–just as long as they’re not menacing me! We have tarantulas and scorpions as well, but they’re pretty scarce and I hardly ever see them.

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  3. Jenn ThorsonNo Gravatar says:

    Great leaping arachnids, Rooster! That’s disturbing, to say the least. I have a small area of backyard which I refer to as “the way back” (it is further back than the back) and I KNOW there are snakes in there. I saw one once slither over the way-back fence like something out of Harry Potter.

    And now, when I go to weed out there, I am startled by things like vines. Or leaping cats.

    Here’s hoping you get the final Widow and you don’t get bitten and develop super-Spider sense… or dead… or anything.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 5:10 am:

    I’ve found a couple rattlesnakes during my daily hikes, but they usually just sit there in the sunshine. I’ve never had one shake its rattle at me yet.

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  4. A truly haunting experience … its too bad your brother didn’t have the sense to run and get a camcorder, you could be #1 on YouTube right now:

    “Flower Blossom:1, DeadRooster: 0″

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 6:17 am:

    Haha! Given the way I was jumping around and magnitude of his uncontrollable laughter, I doubt he could hold a camera steady enough to get a good video. But, yeah, if he could have, it would’ve been pretty funny. :)

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  5. JillianNo Gravatar says:

    Oh good grief. I would have freaked out. I’m such a girl when it comes ti insects, thank God Jan is here to slay all my “dragons”.

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 7:47 am:

    I normally don’t freak out unless they’re inside my clothes. But, black widows are especially creepy. :)

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  6. UniNo Gravatar says:

    While I am truly sympathetic to this situation, since I know you and your brother personally, and can picture this scenario in my head….I am currently wiping tears of laughter from my cheeks. You’re quite lucky David could’nt keep a straight face as I am sure he would have enjoyed torturing you further.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 8:42 am:

    Yes, David finally got a little payback from all the torture I’ve put him through over the years.

    I think he probably could’ve went a little further, but I was holding a golf club at the time, and I don’t think he wanted to push it too far. :)

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  7. UniNo Gravatar says:

    Really nice photography by the way (creepy subject but most excellent picture)

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 9:16 am:

    Thanks! I took about 20 photos, but this is the only one that half-way turned out. It’s difficult to capture a solid black spider in the shadows. LOL :)

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  8. John PainzNo Gravatar says:

    hahha, what a great post. I’m not sure what I would have done, had I felt something go down my shirt, except pee myself. I’m not sure what kind of spiders or creepy crawly things we have here in Tampa, but just a bit farther north are brown recluse spiders. Nasty, nasty. I will now be investing in a small, portable insect flame thrower unit. Or a positron collider.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 9:26 am:

    I have tried all kinds of incectisides, including those with big black widow spiders on the front, but NONE of them work.

    I’m willing to try a positron collider, but it might be a little too extreme for backyard use. :)

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  9. BarryNo Gravatar says:

    I remember one time we took some youngsters on a “camp-out” at an old deer camp on the King Ranch. We found hundreds of black widows and as many brown recluse spiders. I was worried the whole week-end that we would have a hospital run with one of those kids. Fortunately, we didn’t have to.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 4:07 pm:

    It would take an awful lot of Scooby-Snacks before I’d agree to visit THAT deer camp. :)

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  10. ettaroseNo Gravatar says:

    William, I would have paid good money to see that. I have been laughing my ass off. I have such a mental picture of that! I am from Phoenix where they are all too common. I used to play with them when I was a child. When I got older we used to use the old hairspray and a lighter trick. Worked every time.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 4:12 pm:

    Funny you should mention the hairspray/lighter trick. I actually thought of that, but since I have no hairspray and no lighter, I had to go with the golf club. Besides, “Fire BAD” :)

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  11. LOBONo Gravatar says:

    LOL!

    It’s funny you wrote this now … one of my kids spotted a spider in his bedroom. Unfortunately, we also have a cat that upon occasion eats them, so pesticides are out of the question.

    We got rid of the kid.

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 6:02 pm:

    My cats tend to go after them as well, which is one of the reasons I wanted to get rid of them (the black widows, not the cats). The other reason, of course, is that my nephews come over every once in a while and love to play back there.

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  12. paisleyNo Gravatar says:

    it is spider season big time.. i have killed or tried to kill three in the house this week,, posted about the biggest one… mine are not black widows thank god,, but those big brown nasty ones anything over the size of a quarter,, is not ok with me……

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 2nd, 2008 6:47 pm:

    It must be spider season. I’ve had several people tell me that just this week they’ve started finding them around the house.

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  13. MargaretNo Gravatar says:

    While we have black widows around here, they pretty much limit themselves to the well house where it’s dark and cool. I see mostly writing spiders and some other garden spiders which I leave alone because they help keep the other insects I don’t like down to a reasonable level. I’ll have to post some of the pics of the writing spider I took last fall that made her residence on my window. It was really cool watching her build the web and catch and consume her prey. Now I have this big ball-like thing in the casement that I’m pretty sure is an egg sac. It will be really interesting when the babies come out to play.

    ê¿ê

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 10:00 am:

    Very interesting. I’m going to have to check out this “writing spider” you speak of. I don’t normally kill spiders either, unless they’re highly poisonous and in the areas my cats/nephews like to play. :)

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  14. BengoNo Gravatar says:

    Chilling. What part of the country is this in?

    Also very nicely written. A very appealing post.

    Encountered you via EntreCard, FYI.

    Ben

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 10:03 am:

    Hi Bengo,

    Thanks! :) I live in a small Southern California town near Temecula wine country.

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  15. You have turned me into a quivering wreck! Living in the UK, with the most poisonous thing probably being some berry on a tree, or some wild mushroom, the thought of seeing one black widow, let alone seven, anywhere close to my home would freak me out completely! Any spider that landed on me would make me do the spacky dance of terror!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 12:51 pm:

    Black widows and scorpions are about the only things that can make me do the “spacky dance of terror.” It used to be wasps and bumble bees, but I got stung by a yellow-jacket and, even though it hurt like hell, I realized I could survive, and the fear subsided after that.

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  16. This is brilliant – now you need a spin-off blog called DeadSpider :-)

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 12:57 pm:

    Haha!

    I’ll do it! …right after you write a novel about ZOMBIE spiders. :)

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  17. thenibblersNo Gravatar says:

    Great Story!

    Funny and scary all at the same time! So did you hit your brother?

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 2:44 pm:

    Thanks! :)

    No, I didn’t hit him (but, I wanted to).

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  18. Comedy PlusNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve heard everything now. Black Widow golf. Bwahahahahahaha. Loved it. Have a great day. :)

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 8:17 pm:

    Black widows–no problem. Now, if I could only learn to hit a GOLF BALL! :)

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  19. timethiefNo Gravatar says:

    Wow! What a grand story teller you are. I was on the edge of my seat right to the very end. In fact, I wanted to smack David for you. …lol. :P
    I confess that I did take a moment out to thoroughly appreciate this line: “You have to be quick though because black widows can sense danger and vanish quicker than Dick Cheney’s signature on a charity donation.” … lol :P

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 8:31 pm:

    Thanks, TT! I enjoy reading your blog as well.

    I almost didn’t include that line, but I couldn’t resist. :)

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  20. JackieNo Gravatar says:

    I work outside and have encountered these beauties quite often. I was not aware they could jump! The first time I had to “dispose” of one, it took me a long time to work up the nerve to flick it out of the pot- and then I squashed it..then I saw all the tiny baby spiders! Then I left!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 3rd, 2008 8:36 pm:

    Now that you mention it, I’m not sure I’ve actually seen one jump. Maybe it was my mind putting it together when the spider disappeared and the apple blossom went down my shirt.

    A couple of years ago though, I did have one try to chase me around the driveway. :)

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  21. BradleyNo Gravatar says:

    I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. I find apple blossoms terrifying. ;-)

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 4th, 2008 4:10 pm:

    Haha!

    Beware of the dandelions too! :)

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  22. MyaNo Gravatar says:

    I just wanted to tell you we have been getting rid of Black Widows left and right 22 of them to be exact plus some of them were brown widows, we just learned about them, we didn’t know they too were poisonous till we read up on them.

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 4th, 2008 4:12 pm:

    Must be some kind of black widow conspiracy! :)

    Seems that there is a larger-than-usual crop of them this year.

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  23. Oh my goodness!

    I nearly had a blooming heart attack when I stumbled across this page while surfing Entrecard!

    I do not like spiders, (seriously how can anybody!), and I quickly scrolled down the page. I had to, VERY, carefully scroll back up to the top of the page to read from the beginning without seeing the offending picture!

    It’s a great post by the way, it actually had me laughing out loud! Not that I am laughing at your misfortune you understand! It’s just very funny and articulate how you wrote it!

    I don’t have a spider squisher, (we don’t have the need in the UK), I just get my husband to dispose of them quickly! He can’t kill them though, he has to save them instead! I doubt he would be as keen to save Black Widow Spiders though!

    I was stuck upstairs the other day because one cheeky chappy had planted itself on the bannister. I would have had to come within inches of it to get past. I couldn’t shout my husband as I would have woken the baby! I had to creep into the baby’s room and whisper into the baby monitor to tell him to come and save me!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 4th, 2008 4:54 pm:

    Sarah, your comment is so funny! LOL :)

    Your husband reminds me of myself: I don’t like to kill spiders either (although I don’t like it, I make an exception for black widows because they are dangerous to my cats and young nephews). I usually catch non-poisonous style spiders in a drinking glass and take them outside to let them go.

    I know, I’m a sicko.

    …but, they eat all the pesky bugs! :)

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    Sarah :: Freelance Writing, Grammar and Spelling tipsNo Gravatar reply on June 5th, 2008 2:20 pm:

    You are making me read this post again with that scary picture on top! When are you going to do another post so I don’t have to look at it any more! ;-)

    I would catch them, but I can’t even go near the little ones! Pathetic I know! The spiders here don’t do any harm, what on earth would I be like if I was where you are now!

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  24. Modern GlamNo Gravatar says:

    Oh my God, I am rolling on the floor! Great blog, and post……give David a whack upside his head for me! (I would have died of a heart attack if that happened to me, lol)

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 5th, 2008 9:43 am:

    Consider the upside of David’s head WHACKED! :)

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  25. Matt UrdanNo Gravatar says:

    Awesome post and a great read! I live in the middle of a National Forest. There’s nothing I can do. Spiders and bugs are in my home. So I posted a “Room Mate contract” for my unwanted roomies on a wall that basically says: I understand that the forest is your home too and I choose to live here, but here’s the deal. Stay out of sight, stay away from me, and we’re good. But as soon as you start crawling on me, biting me, and/or descending on me Tom Cruise style from Mission Impossible, you’re toast. This is your only warning. Ask yourself, is the momentary self-gratification of sticking your fangs into my skin worth a gruesome death by Tilex or some other horrible domestic cleaner, flame or tool?

    Cheers!

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 5th, 2008 2:45 pm:

    Thanks Matt! :)

    I love your “Room Mate Contract” but I prefer to smoosh them without warning. LOL

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  26. HeatherNo Gravatar says:

    What a great story, lol…I’m not afraid of spiders and don’t usually kill them…but…a black widow spider is a different story…I’ve never seen one up close and personal so I’m not sure if I would even recognize one…if I knew what it was I would probably freak as you did :0) Great picture by the way!

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 6th, 2008 4:01 pm:

    The truth is, I don’t even like to kill black widows. But, I just can’t have them at the house because of their potential danger. They are common around these parts, but I have never met anyone that even knew of someone that was bitten. So, that’s a good thing. :)

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  27. HotMommaNo Gravatar says:

    This is such a funny piece but all at your expense _ I’m sorry but i just found the way you recounted it so hilarious. I hope you are not offended. But of course, it sure must have been a dreadful few minutes there for you. be sure to wear more protective covering next time.

    by the way, thanks for visiting my site.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 6th, 2008 4:09 pm:

    Offended? No way! LOL :) I try to write posts that my readers will enjoy even if I turn out to look like a great big doofus. I’m glad you liked it and found it funny.

    I will probably be a little more careful with my spider killing wardrobe next time. :)

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  28. VixenNo Gravatar says:

    You approach and technique are sound, so you must have really ticked off Mother Nature to play such a horrendous prank on you. And then to add humiliation to it is salt in the wound!

    Get her. And get your brother too, not with the golf club…but somehow.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 16th, 2008 12:48 pm:

    Oh, I’ll get her! And, I’ll get my brother too! :)

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  29. WayneNo Gravatar says:

    Ok, that was funny! I can see the dance perfectly and I’ve done it too. I think I’m going to be subscribing to your blog! Keep it up and funny, the world needs it! Cheers!

    (too many exclamations perhaps, so your grammar shouldn’t faze me one bit :)

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on June 16th, 2008 1:09 pm:

    Welcome aboard, Wayne!

    The exclamation point is the most valuable key on the keyboard! Never forget that! :)

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  30. PatrickNo Gravatar says:

    I think it’s easier to catch them first. Clubbing them seems a little dramatic =)

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on July 9th, 2008 2:14 pm:

    Catching them seems a little dangerous–them being highly poisonous and all. :)

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  31. PatrickNo Gravatar says:

    Well dance!

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on July 9th, 2008 2:15 pm:

    It just so happens I killed another black widow yesterday. I did not dance. :)

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  32. MilenaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m very ladylike (at least I pretend to be) so the guffaws totally took me by surprise. Loved this post. You are a funny as well as grammatically correct writer.

    Reply to this comment

    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on August 2nd, 2008 11:16 am:

    Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  33. lvsNo Gravatar says:

    thanks for submitting this post to the best three blog posts competition…..

    do you know how spiders communicate? They make people write blogs about themselves :)

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  34. RACHELNo Gravatar says:

    I KNOW HOW U FEEL I JUST KILLED ONE ON MY DOGS FOOD BOWL.I EAS GOING TO FEED HIM AN AS USUALL THER WAS ANTS IN HIS BOWL.SO I PICKEDIT UP AND TURNED IT OVER TO KNOCK THE ANTS OUT AND TO MY SURPRISE I SAW SOMETHING MOVE.WELL I DROPPED THE BOWL AND GOT A CLOSER LOOK AND THEIR SHE WAS IN ALL HER WONDREFULL GLORY AND NOT VERY HAPPY.SO I KNOCKED HER OFF THE BOWL AND SMOOSHED HER.I ALSO HAVE HOBO SPIDERS GET IN MY HOME I HAVE HAD ONE THE SIZE OF THE PALM OF MY HAND IN MY BATHROOM CREEPY.I HATE SPIDDERS! DID U KNOW HOBO SPIDDERS CAN BE POISONOUS THATS WHAT MY PEST CONTROLL MAN TOLD ME.

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on August 27th, 2008 11:17 am:

    Wow! What an ordeal! I keep expecting one of my cats to play with one and get bit–I hope that never happens.

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  35. Do we have spiders in the uk that are venmous. Im really scared of spiders and i have loads in my house but i just wanted to know if they are please let me know.
    Jason

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on September 19th, 2008 4:10 am:

    Do they have venomous spiders in the UK? I don’t know; I’m more of an expert on how to squish them than whether they are poisonous or not. :)

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  36. spyDNo Gravatar says:

    Excellent story! I enjoyed reading it.

    Sorry bro, that you were terrorized by the fat girl! I laughed reading about your struggles, esp., your choice of weapons! Haha. I used my fist a few times.

    Garlic was used to ward off spiders in ancient Egypt, and I have used it since I learned of this. [not a superstition]

    While in Mexico, 8years, I encountered 8 black widows myself. All on different occasions though. One here, one there, all different places. Eventually, one of them got me, and I was comatose for a month and 8 days.

    I know when we speak of these matters, many think we are crazy. haha. Oh well. The ones who hear, are the ones who actually learn something.

    This widow encounter, is what was part of the making of spider-agent, the gifted seer of spiders! I would like to refer to your story one day.

    I’m working on some sites about this Black Widow situation, called BlackWidowProphecy.com and spider-agent.com

    I’ll share many things on this mactans, and will take 6months or more, as there is so much to say!

    Hope everyone knows to keep the cobwebs clean, and don’t stack up junk, and boxes against the walls, will help. Their webs are messy and they build their webs in messy areas.

    Shalom Shaleem!

    Your Friend on the Digital Web,

    spyD

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on March 25th, 2009 9:06 am:

    Great info, Spy!

    I’ll be checking out your sites. Thanks for taking the time to write such a great comment! I really appreciate it. :)

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  37. ChantelleNo Gravatar says:

    Wow that’s creepy. How many different kinds of black widow spiders are there do you know? My brother had one as a pet and I’ve been looking into more and more as she has laid 2 egg sacs and it’s creepy. I couldn’t imagine seeing 7 black widows outside!

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  38. BiteMeNo Gravatar says:

    In my portion of quasi desertlike Southern California, black widows are common. One of them crept in and bit me as I slept. In the morning, trying to step down six inches from porch to yard was excruciatingly painful. Once down, I could only shuffle, not walk. My chest and abdomen were tight and sore, and I suffered waves of pain every time I moved. I was weak, dizzy, nauseated, and not thinking very clearly. Too bad. It was a weekend. ER docs here won’t treat you unless they can actually see the venomous spider, which means your insurance won’t pay because it’s not deemed a “life-threatening event”. But the hospital will certainly bill you out-of-pocket for showing up at the ER so they can refuse to treat you. Perhaps I should have hunted a black widow down, smacked it around a bit, and taken it with me to the ER? Hmmm

    Then there was the time I found one lurking behind the toilet. I jumped back in horror. Luckily the broom was nearby, because it buzzed the room like a jet. I ended up flailing the broom haphazardly at the walls and floor, hoping to stun it. The spectre of it excaping into the living room was so threatening that I would have done anything to corner and kill it in the bathroom. Anything. Which I did, though I have no memory of how.

    Local politics are on the spider’s side. The landlord has lately installed stunningly low cost windows in this old house. They are wondrously airy. However, the window screen sits on bumper clips which raise the screen 1/4 inch and more above the sill. That open window is an invitation to mosquitos and flies and black widows, as well as itinerant new mice and cockroaches. But let us be realistic. Officials are not inspired to enforce City Health Codes after a well-heeled citizen landlord has put out money for spanking new cheap and airy windows, even if the screens rather obviously let in things that fly and crawl instead of keeping them out. I have been hometowned. With manufacturers like that, no wonder malaria is still not stamped out in the tropics.

    Two years ago I retrieved a tarp, and the 30 black widows it contained, from the small garage (ancient and sievelike and therefore cannot be insect bombed) which comes with this house. Yes, they do leap. I have never entered the garage again, because I wish to live. I am optimistic, however, because the owner says he plans to tear it down.

    I have stopped trying to grow a lawn. In the summer here it’s sizzling and parched, and water only encourages black widows and other insects. During one of my orgies of watering to keep a newly seeded lawn alive, earwigs came up in the night and covered the entire house like a plague of locusts. My next stab at watering my way to a lovely turf resulted in hordes of striped male black widows storming the front door as I came home late at night. Many large mature female black widows, with their nasty fire-engine red hourglasses exposed, were also hanging nightly from webs outside the house. Seems I water here at my peril. I thought of lizards, but realized outside cats would only eat them.

    No denying that steel-toed workboots clobber black widows, if you have trained your spiders to sit and wait while you take aim, that is. I have fond memories of the coastal city where I was born. There a stink bug and a few red ants in a vacant lot were a big deal.

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  39. gilbertoNo Gravatar says:

    omg samething happened to me the black widow was on the ceiling and i was goin to go work out but when i shut the door and it fell on my head i brushed it off really fast and i ran and no joke that thing started chaseing me so i went to the next door and shut it i dont it could fit under the door cuz that thing was as big as my palm but i was traped in that room until 1in the mourning with no phone i did not want to leave

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  40. LisaNo Gravatar says:

    LOL AH-HAhahahahaha! I loved this post!!! I would love to post it to my Myspace, if I have your permission? PLEEEEASE?!?!?!
    http://www.myspace.com/349135636

    Laughs,
    Lisa

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    William McCammentNo Gravatar reply on April 19th, 2010 3:25 am:

    Sure, post it to MySpace, but tell ‘em where you found it. :)

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