Nothing Relieves Stress like Watching a Hilarious Rollercoaster Disaster
WARNING: People are going to die in this blog post. But, it’s OK because they are virtual people and you probably don’t know them personally.
I am not normally a cranky person. What happens though—sometimes—is that I get frustrated when I can’t seem to do something so simple that even a monkey of random intelligence should be able to do: like find a decent place on my blog to put my tiny Humor-Blogs banner. I spent two hours today placing it in different places until I just decided to leave it right where it started from: down at the bottom right sidebar as part of a widget (clicking it will give me a mild electric shock…you will also be transported to a great directory of funny web sites).
Having wasted two-hours of my day which could’ve been spent writing about Hitler’s secret dream of becoming a Disney Sketch Artist, I was plenty upset with myself. Then I found something that made me feel much better.
Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum Edition is a sim game in which you can design and build your very own amusement park featuring extremely dangerous roller coasters. I don’t have the time or patience to do this myself, but I tracked down this video showcasing what would happen if you deliberately and sadistically aimed a speeding roller coaster directly at a long line of waiting amusement park visitors.
Haha! CLICK HERE TO GET THE SOFTWARE THAT CREATED THIS!
The screams and fiery explosion at the end is very satisfying. I have no idea why something so gruesome should relieve stress–and it makes me wonder about my own mental health–but it sure seems to do the trick.
Notice that I have linked to the Platinum Edition
I would probably not be accused of understatement if I compared this potential scene to a furious water balloon explosion.
If you’re ever stressing really hard just remember the above video and give it another viewing. See if you don’t feel better. If not, you could always read about my humorous REAL LIFE ROLLERCOASTER ADVENTURE.
Dead Rooster is the online home of 
You’re right. I do feel much better now…. it’s a miracle!
I guess the 1,000 times a day masturbation technique wasn’t relieving the stress in the way I hoped. I’m cured now. Thank you, thank you Dr. Dead Rooster!
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Wow, Static, maybe you should ease up on the coffee too…
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I say that “we”, the members of the male species, have the most warped sense of humour when it comes to video games. I can remember watching friends build amusement packs in either one of the Rollercoaster Tycoon or Sim Amusement Park games, and they destroyed all the bathrooms and blockaded the entrances so no one could leave.
Mind you, I also remember playing the first Sims, and seeing if I turn the guys gay by placing only one bed in the house.
Entertaining though.
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Hi Jinksy,
“…destroyed all the bathrooms and blockaded the entrances so no one could leave.”
Wow! That’s brutal!
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haaaa..!
My son has one of the virtual roller coaster games, I’m unsure which version. He loves anything intricate and time consuming, with the potential for mass human carnage. I’m too lazy for something like that.
Give me some bubble wrap, a bourbon and water, and I’m set for at least a half hour.
A note about stress…
I joined the local gym about a week ago, to firm up and de-stress. Living in such a small military town, it’s almost impossible (I’ve found) to de-stress since everyone else and his brother is a member at the SAME DAMN GYM.
Years ago I spotted this on a coffee mug:
“Stress: The confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living hell out of some asshole who desperately deserves it”
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TheMrs,
Imagine if you combined bubble-wrap and bourbon with watching a hippopotamus getting splattered by a rushing roller coaster. Now THAT would be stress relief!
I think we’re on to something here.
I used to have that same quote hanging in my office.
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Well, I still hope to blow up The Death Star one of this days or simulate a supernova somehow.
Its a primeval thing like gathering wood and create a bonfire and watch the flames dancing in front of your eyes and you know, watch the wood burn…
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Hi SciFi,
Blowing up The Death Star could possibly be the greatest stress reliever ever invented.
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I remember back in the first Roller Coaster Tycoon you couldn’t crash them on purpose – the worst I ever did was build a tiny island and stick hundreds of my guests on it until they started to drown themselves.
The video – all that carnage and no blood? I’m never happy until I see blood…
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Hi Jason,
Yeah, drowning just isn’t spectacular enough. But, when you’ve GOT to kill them and there’s no other way…
Maybe they’ll create an expansion pack called, “Pools of Blood!”
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Think I’ll stick to blogging, nobody gets killed doing that, right?
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Theresa,
OK, now you’ve got me looking over my shoulder…
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The fake sims:
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/games/fakesims/
Same sort of thing, but simpler. Amazing stress relief though, for such a stupid game!
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Although, Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 makes me angry because it’s impossible to actually kill anyone. In fact, I remember I built a giant volcano filled with water, where three of my guests spent several years swimming around. In the original, I would dress my employees as pandas and drown them. Now those were the days.
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William McCamment
reply on July 23rd, 2009 9:32 am:
Haha! That is truly hilarious!
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