Good & Plenty Candies: The Nightmare Continues…
Photo credit: Suzanna - tweaked by DeadRooster
I was shocked to discover, after years of trying to forget about them, that Good & Plenty candies are not only still being manufactured, but that it would not even be illegal for any knucklehead off-the-street to purchase a box and offer them to some poor shlub as a treat.
This candy is so awful it should only be sold in joke-shops. When I was a kid, if I had somehow got hold of some, I would only chew off the Kaopectate flavored coating—while being extra careful not to disturb the horrible tasting tobacco center—then spit out the rest.
Older kids in my neighborhood would buy Good & Plenty’s and pretend they were drugs. Of course, they would never actually eat them; they would instead force us younger kids to “take” them and tell us we were hallucinating.
How is it that these wretched little pellets are not yet extinct? Back in the 1960’s, it was probably their diabolical marketing campaign that kept them afloat. They would put a magic trick on the back of the box, get some snotty kid (oh, how I loathed him) to perform it in a TV commercial, and then force you to buy a box in order to learn the secret (which was revealed on the inside flap). I never did learn how to make a quarter cry—I think they purposely let that creepy TV kid be the only one to know how it was done.
I also remember a deceptively benign cartoon ad featuring a menacing little engineer by the name of Choo Choo Charlie who—immediately after tasting them, I bet—decided to fuel his engine with Good & Plenty candies. I cheered when he burned them, but was totally unprepared for the catchy background jingle that was obviously a subliminal hack designed to permanently embed itself into the brains of innocent children. Here is an early version of the commercial:
Trust me: you don’t ever want to get that stuck in your head—not unless you’re planning a killing spree or want to start doing needle drugs.
After a bit of research, I learned that Good & Plenty’s are the oldest branded candy in the United States (true). They were first produced in 1893 by the Quaker City Confectionary Company of Philadelphia (also true) and were fiendishly invented a few years earlier by an irritable pharmacist with an intense hatred of the human race (probably not true).
Seriously, does anybody like these things?
Note: I know there’s a chance that Kaopectate (a remedy for diarrhea) and tobacco (a remedy for health) may not be the precise ingredients, so please don’t email me. 
Comments
Comment from paisley
Time: February 29, 2008, 6:31 pm
hey!!!! i love good and plenty’s!!!! but then i have always been rather fond of needle drugs as well…….
Comment from William McCamment
Time: February 29, 2008, 7:27 pm
Paisley,
What probably happened, was that you used needle drugs and then you THOUGHT you liked Good & Plenty’s.
Comment from gautami tripathy
Time: March 1, 2008, 12:53 am
I abhor drugs. In any form. Call me a prude.
Comment from Crafty Green Poet
Time: March 1, 2008, 12:57 am
I feel I’ve missed something having grown up in the UK and never heard of Good and Plentys, but I guess I’ve not missed much…
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 1, 2008, 4:20 am
gautami,
Prude! Well, you asked.
Crafty,
Interesting. They were probably banned for their horrible flavor. All you’ve missed is a series of childhood nightmares.
Comment from jonathan
Time: March 1, 2008, 5:25 am
This article is right on, I think G and P was candy coated black licorice. If i got a hold of some, i would put one on an ant hill and see how long it would take for the ants to devour one, though it probably killed them.
Comment from don
Time: March 1, 2008, 10:09 am
Thank you ever so…
I’ll be having that song in my head for hours now. And I’m using the chain saw today.
So let me just say this to you. “We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun…”
Maybe next time you’ll think before you wack someone’s memory with a machete.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 1, 2008, 10:18 am
Jonathan,
Maybe they should put that right on the box, “KILLS ANTS”
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 1, 2008, 10:19 am
Hi Don!
LOL Cracking me up as usual!
Comment from Theresa
Time: March 1, 2008, 10:43 am
I moved to Spain to get away from Good and Plentys!
Comment from mAineAc
Time: March 1, 2008, 11:45 am
I loved good and plenty candies growing up. I think perhaps you got a bad batch and never went for seconds… I feel sorry for you having gone through your youth never enjoying the great taste.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 1, 2008, 12:22 pm
Theresa,
I have always wanted to visit Spain, and now that I know they don’t have Good & Plenty’s, I am even more tempted to make it my next vacation destination.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 1, 2008, 12:33 pm
mAineAc,
I have tried MANY boxes of G & P’s. My grandparents used to buy them for me all the time–they thought it was fun to see their 5-year-old grandson running around shaking the box like Choo Choo Charlie.
Comment from Jinksy
Time: March 1, 2008, 1:21 pm
Well said.
They seem more suited as a punishment then a treat.
Comment from Jayne
Time: March 2, 2008, 6:59 am
Hehe..a remedy for health. That would be precisely why I had a love affair with Good & Plentys! But looking back, I have to agree with Jinksy..they are more like a punishment than a treat.
“Come here you little snit..I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap and then force feed you Good & Plentys”
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Time: March 2, 2008, 9:55 am
Good & Plenty Candies: The Nightmare Continues…
\r\nAre these the most horrible tasting candies ever invented?\r\nAfter a bit of rese…
Comment from Kathy
Time: March 2, 2008, 12:56 pm
They look like little pink and white suppositories, no? Oh, and you can’t make me watch that commercial, but you’ve given me nightmares with that creepy doll pictures. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Comment from TheMrs
Time: March 2, 2008, 4:00 pm
I agree with you. Those are some of the nastiest candies ever. : P
Another one that I can’t believe people actually still eat - Dots.
Who in the world likes to chew something that makes it almost impossible to pry your teeth apart to chew? Granted, they have a good flavor, but they lose all desirability once you lose the ability to swallow due to your mouth being glued shut.
Hey…. maybe that’s a plus? “Here kids, have some of these Dots!”
*silence for twenty minutes*
Also, don’t ruin a good Lenci picture by planting in licorice good ‘n plenty… ugh!
Comment from cybele
Time: March 2, 2008, 4:10 pm
It’s called licorice. Some people don’t like it, some people do. Most people don’t begrudge the fact that candy exists that other people like. I mean, what does it hurt you that something you don’t have to buy isn’t quite to your liking … it’s not like your tax dollars are spent on these things.
Yes, I like them. And I don’t like Dr. Pepper much, but I don’t call people who do fools.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 2, 2008, 4:58 pm
cybele,
Perhaps you should back-off the sugar a bit.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 2, 2008, 5:09 pm
TheMrs,
LOL I wonder how many kids glued their mouth shut with those things and FREAKED! I remember my cousin pulling a filling with them. I bet it happens a lot.
Comment from Kitty
Time: March 3, 2008, 10:08 am
1. I’m not in love with black licorice.
2. These things taste weirder than plain regular black licorice.
3. I’m actually wondering how anyone could like the coating
better than the inside. To me, the coating (Kaopectate! ^_~)
is what makes the “candies” seem even MORE medicinal than
they otherwise would. (Perfect to use for pretend medicine…
IF, that is, you don’t want the kind of pretend medicine that
tastes really good!!! ^_~)
4. However, I don’t mind at all if some people like them…also,
I think that it may be an acquired taste…and/or, some people
have PLEASANT childhood memories associated with them (for
some reason ^_~). They’re not my style, but they’re not the
WORST things I’ve ever eaten. If you neither love nor hate
black licorice, the center is kind of okay after you chew it
for a while. I’m not going to say that these would EVER be
on my FAVORITE candies list, but hey, it’s not THAT hard
to learn to KIND OF like them instead of loathing them…
unless you absolutely loathe black licorice, of course! ^_~
5. I looked up “Good & Plenty” online because I thought
I remembered that the candy was a really old kind…I was
right…except it’s even older than I thought (I was thinking
1930’s or 1940’s, maybe!). I guess some old things never die
…they just make more and more people wonder why they’re
still around. ^_~ (Old folks’ home for old candies: “Hi, folks,
I’m Good & Plenty. No idea why they named me that, but
I was a wee tad back in 1893, and I’m still alive and kicking
today!” ^_~) (My best guess as to REALLY why it’s still around:
The manufacturers didn’t want to break with tradition…plus,
apparently some people do really like it [no accounting for taste,
is there? ^_~].) (Interesting note: The box design doesn’t appear
to have changed significantly in the past 30 or 40 years [I don't
know about before that!] except for the ever-popular-these-days
addition of the words “A Fat Free Candy”.)
6. I actually think the commercial is sort of cute (just don’t assume
that that means that the product is good…plentiful, yes…good…
well, that’s a matter of taste! ^_~).
7. To TheMrs: I like Dots…but, yeah, they are quite chewy…
especially so if they’re not brand new any more (the consistency
is actually reasonably okay if you eat them when they’re as fresh
as possible, like in the first few days after you buy them, having
bought them from a store that sells fresh-only foods in the first
place!!!).
8. William, thanks for the cute blog on the topic of the, er, not so
good but very plentiful candies. ^_~ I had fun reading it! ^_^
9. Have a great day/week/month/year, everyone…and don’t forget
your sense of humor!!! ^_~
=^___^=
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 3, 2008, 12:27 pm
Hi Kitty,
You’re right–it doesn’t taste like regular black licorice. Apparently, when black licorice is exposed to Kaopectate, it becomes an inedible tobacco-like substance.
Comment from LOBO
Time: March 3, 2008, 4:17 pm
It’s true they were first produced in 1893.
… They STOPPED in 1895.
Enjoy!
Comment from Jillian
Time: March 5, 2008, 12:04 am
OK, second time I’ve read this! 
These candies are atrocious and should not be sold without some sort of warning label.
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 5, 2008, 4:48 am
Lobo,
I thought they tasted kind of stale!
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 5, 2008, 4:55 am
Jillian,
LOL I agree completely!
Comment from Candid
Time: March 5, 2008, 7:29 am
I also love them. Course I’m a freak that loves the black jelly beans, too. Yum.
The candy I hated was those almonds with a candy coating. Ew.
Comment from ettarose
Time: March 5, 2008, 1:03 pm
My Dad loved black licorice. I hate it. Good and Plentys were only good to see how many would fit up your nose. The worst candy in the world are those fake marshmallow orange peanut shaped turds. Now THOSE suck!
Comment from William McCamment
Time: March 5, 2008, 1:20 pm
ettarose,
So, how many was it?
I forgot about those orange peanut things; you are right, they are horrible!
Comment from BrentD
Time: March 5, 2008, 4:15 pm
They are pure and unadulterated evil.
Comment from joshua
Time: March 6, 2008, 11:52 pm
For reals. Good-n-Plenty, Circus Peanuts make-a me want to the vomit. But I tell you what I do miss, remember those wax soda pop bottles with the sugary liquid inside? Those things were bomb, like Nagasaki bomb.
Comment from purpleteeth
Time: March 9, 2008, 5:25 pm
Obviously you have grown up in an age hallmarked by digital reality. That commercial you so agregiously malign was state of the art in its day. Obviously you never had to entertain yourself and obviously you never learned the fine art of eating Good and Plenty. First, you pop one in your mouth and suck on it awhile to hydrate the as you say< Kaopectate flavored, covering. You can then carefully manipulate th piece (no fingers allowed!) and bite the ends off. Next, carefully nibble and suck the rest of the covering off. That leaves you with the licorice center, which, at least used to be, classic licorice flavored. You would then chew it up and start over. In those days a car trip was far longer than it is now with the advent of Interstate freeways. A box of Good and Plenty could easily last an hour + trip to your old Aunt’s home. You, Grasshopper, obviously know nothing of the Tao of G&P. Thank you for your well reasearched, if slightly opinionated views. Someone had to do it, I’m glad it was you, Grasshopper.
Comment from .45
Time: March 15, 2008, 8:49 pm
I still eat these if they happen to come my way. I’ll eat any thing but onions though, which are nature’s cruel joke. Luckily, onions don’t come in candy form.
Comment from colleen
Time: May 6, 2008, 11:37 am
Actually,.45, onions do come in candy form, carmelized onions.
G&P were never my fave but when i was growing up I was deliberately kept in semi starvation and would eat almost anything especially something that gives a shuggiebuzz
Comment from William McCamment
Time: May 6, 2008, 12:08 pm
@Colleen,
I guess if I were deliberately kept in a state of semi-starvation I would probably eat them too. But, it would be close.
Comment from Jessica
Time: May 12, 2008, 4:33 pm
Very funny!! I like the commercial though.
Comment from Uni
Time: May 15, 2008, 8:15 pm
I hated Good & plenty’s………cool pic
The article made me laugh
That nasty coating would stick to your lips and could make you look like a derranged clown to chase the smaller kids….leave a big nasty mark on their cheek or forhead…….LOL (fun way to torture a younger sibling…….and you never really had to eat them)
Comment from William McCamment
Time: May 16, 2008, 6:32 pm
@Uni,
Ah, younger siblings–there is never enough torture for them (for those that don’t know, I am the eldest of 3 boys).
HILARIOUS!
Comment from Phlup
Time: June 8, 2008, 12:50 pm
We buy our G & P’s in bulk. I was hoping to find a serious discussion of which tastes better (or worse, in this context), the pink or the white.
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Time: June 16, 2008, 7:19 pm
[...] I believe meme tags are the work of the same infant-sacrificing, devil worshiping cult that invented Good & Plenty Candies. [...]
Comment from violetteb
Time: June 21, 2008, 8:37 pm
You’re right, the candy coating draws us in and then bleck…my mom loves that kind of licorice…but you realize that that kind of licorice was about the only kind of candy way back in the dark ages.
William McCamment reply on June 22nd, 2008 5:51 am:
Why do you think they called it “The Dark Ages?”
…and, it is still the worst-tasting legal candy available.
William McCamment reply on June 22nd, 2008 5:41 am:
They both taste pretty horrible to me.
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