End of the Line for Lewis and Clark
I recently stood on the very spot where, in 1806, Lewis and Clark, after an historical 2-year expedition to reach the pacific ocean, looked at each other and said, “we came all this way for this?”
I’m sure an accurate history of the Lewis and Clark expedition is fascinating, but I am much too lazy to do any sort of actual research, so I’ll have to rely on what I remember from my fifth-grade history class and my recent trip to Seaside, Oregon.
Legend has it that during an historical August day in 1803, Zeek “Meriwether” Lewis and William “Crazy Legs” Clark, having realized Honus Wagner was not yet invented and it would be exactly 100-years before the first World Series, decided there was nothing better to do than take an historical hike to the Pacific Ocean.
Unfortunately, they were in Pittsburgh—WAY closer to the Atlantic than the Pacific. But, if there’s one thing William Clark knew about Meriwether Lewis, it’s that if he doesn’t get his way, he’ll likely throw a colossal temper tantrum, holding his breath until he turns an historical shade of turquoise.
So off they went skipping in historical fashion toward the Pacific Ocean.
After about 3 hours they noticed they had been skipping in circles, so they enlisted the services of an historical Native American woman named Sacagawea to serve as guide and interpreter. She (Sacagawea) strapped her infant son—who’s name I’m not making up—(Jean Baptiste Charbonneau) onto her back and led them (Lewis and Clark) out of the city and into the scary, but historical wilderness.
After a grueling 2-years of battling wind, rain, sleet, snow, banditos, leaky canoes, werewolves, salesman and many varieties of historical vegetation, they finally arrived at Seaside, Oregon where they were historically dipped in bronze to forever watch the seagulls poop into the briny sea.
More than 200 years later (in fact, just last week) I was led around Seaside by my girlfriend Gloria—who, as luck would have it, is 50% Native American AND a Native Oregonian—where we visited an historic-looking Mexican restaurant.
I boldly, and historically ordered a Beef Chimichanga.
Historical evidence:
Dead Rooster is the online home of 
Nice, never knew about this. But I do now
. Thanks.
Reply to this comment
William McCamment
reply on September 16th, 2009 6:33 pm:
Um… you might want to verify the accuracy of several statements appearing in this piece.
Reply to this comment
Glad your out there Living the LIFE
now we know where you were
Blogger Bill stumble you he said ?
Reply to this comment
William McCamment
reply on September 17th, 2009 5:49 am:
Haha! Thanks John!
Reply to this comment
What no burritos? (Here I am, you trackin’ me?)
Reply to this comment
William McCamment
reply on September 17th, 2009 4:02 pm:
Technically, a chimichanga is a deep-fried burrito.
Yes, I believe you are the one from Gatineau, Canada. Right?
Reply to this comment
Good thing she (girlfriend) didn’t know the real ending or you would be standing there in dipped in bronze
I didn’t pay much attention when I was in school and have very few memories but I do remember the adventures of Lewis and Clark. Probably because it was an adventure story and that’s all I daydreamed about, that is, until I realized the seventies was full of halter tops and mini skirts
Reply to this comment
William McCamment
reply on September 20th, 2009 7:02 pm:
I don’t remember the real ending. It didn’t involve werewolves, did it?
Of course you know that when I was writing the above post, I was imagining Sacagawea in a halter top and mini skirt.
Reply to this comment
Still up to your shenanigans I see. Sacajawea in a halter top? She never wore a bra. She would hang under the halter top. Will you ask Gloria if I can still worship you from afar? I swear I am safe. Still loving you, the Princess. (Now you’ll have to explain that one won’t ya?)
Reply to this comment
hatingtherain
reply on September 22nd, 2009 11:29 am:
You can worship him from afar, and even take the title of Princess, as long as you acknowledge me as Queen
(I realize now I need as much help as I can get to keep him in line!)
Reply to this comment
William McCamment
reply on September 24th, 2009 9:01 am:
Ladies! Please! There’s enough Dead Rooster for ALL the chicks!
Reply to this comment
I never knew history could be this much fun. I drink beer a lot, but I never knew I was making history. Gosh, I wish had thought to take pictures. Maybe I’ll bronze a beer bottle next time. Or do I have to be in Oregon to qualify for bronzing?
Nice Chimichanga! And a very entertaining history lesson. My best to Crazy Legs.
Reply to this comment
I also want chicks.
my gf always asks me to have a date but i dont have time to do it
Reply to this comment