An Edible Cake: Probably
Today is my brother David’s birthday so I thought I’d bake him a cake. I used a Teddy Bear shaped cake pan (because that’s how I roll–only the finest novelty cake pans are used in my kitchen).
But after I applied frosting and placed the Junior Mints for the eyes and nose, it turned out looking more like an Ewok from Star Wars.
I hate those things.
I was originally going to make it an evil bear, but my mom, who briefed me over the phone on how to turn on the oven, made me promise I wouldn’t:
Me: “Hello, mom?”
Mom: “Billy! What’s up?”
Me: “I told you a million times, don’t call me Billy!”
Mom: “Sorry. You know it’s David’s birthday, right?”
Me: “Yeah, mom, that’s why I called. I’m baking an evil bear; how do I turn on the oven?”
Mom: “Why does everything have to be evil?”
Anyway, no matter how it tastes, I’m still proud of myself because I had the courage to pick up a highly-complicated box of Betty Crocker Super Moist Butter Recipe Chocolate Cake Mix and follow the rigorous 3-step instructions including the esoteric toothpick move: “Step 3: Bake as directed or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean…”
Cake Baking Tip #1: Toothpicks come 250 to a box, so be sure and pick up several dozen boxes before you start your cake project. I didn’t know this and I ran out. I was forced to start using wooden matches.
Cake Baking Tip #2: If you do end up using wooden matches, snip off the sulfur ends before getting them anywhere near a hot oven. There are no written instructions on the cake mix box for this, either, so beware.
Bonus Tip: It is also wise to keep a fully-functioning fire extinguisher in the kitchen.
Dead Rooster is the online home of 
You did a nice job! So how did David enjoy his Ewok? And how come you’re Billy but David’s David? In Mom-thinking, shouldn’t he be perpetually Davey?
By the way, up until recently, at the death of one of our elderly neighbors, my 71 year old dad was “Bobby.” Same as when she knew him at age 6.
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William McCamment
reply on July 13th, 2009 7:08 pm:
I haven’t heard from David yet. He had just got home from a gigantic meal and I couldn’t convince him to try the cake (maybe he doesn’t trust me).
We’ve never called him anything but David — not even Dave.
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Well, I can tell you tried your hardest. That’s the important part. But I am a little bit scairt of that cake. Maybe he would look better with red licorice whips for his lips. And blue M&Ms for eyes.
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William McCamment
reply on July 13th, 2009 7:09 pm:
I’m a little bit “scairt” of it too! LOL
Licorice whips for lips seem creepy to me…
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That’s so cute baby. But not as cute as the guy who made it:)
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hatingtherain
reply on July 13th, 2009 12:35 pm:
I love you William
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William McCamment
reply on July 13th, 2009 7:10 pm:
You’re so nice to me baby. I love you!
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Watch Anime Online
reply on December 21st, 2009 4:29 pm:
I love you tooo.
You are great
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Hahahaha, classic Dead Rooster right there. Ya know, even though it may look like an Ewok, you can rejoice in the fact that it’s certainly a dead Ewok, and I hear they are pretty tasty when grilled.
Wonder how they taste baked? It sure does look tasty. Got Milk?
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William McCamment
reply on July 15th, 2009 10:08 am:
Haha! Hey, Wayne! Good to see you!
I never got a taste of the “Ewok” but I’m guessing it was pretty good–there was nothing left for me!
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Great site man. I was wondering if we could possible exchange links. Let me know what you think about my humor blog.
Jason
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William McCamment
reply on July 15th, 2009 10:11 am:
Hi jason,
I don’t really do link exchanges. I’ll keep checking on your blog and if it becomes something I read regularly and I think my readers will enjoy it, I’ll link to it. You won’t even have to link to mine unless you want to.
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Billy/William, nothing wrong with either of those. My Hubby answers to both. Your cake was…………… well scary. When the page first came up the eyes looked like zombie eyes. Does not matter to me though. Am I allowed to tell you I still think you are number one in my book? I don’t want no haters.
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William McCamment
reply on July 17th, 2009 6:42 pm:
Thanks, ettarose!
You’re still my favorite princess in distress. No haters allowed on my blog.
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