Think Like a Cat: The Meow Mix Game Show
Photo credit: randombit
I would be a much more prolific blogger if I didn’t own cats. Of course, a catless world would be nearly impossible for me since I have always had a cat and wouldn’t know how to function without one. But, these cats are absolutely brutal on me in the morning.
I wake up early, usually about 4:00 am, put on the coffee and let the cats in from the garage before they knock the door down. I sit down at the computer and begin to type. My calico cat “Cookie” jumps up on my lap, fixes her claws into my leg, purrs and drools. After a few minutes she realizes I’m typing which is her queue to attack my fingers. I stop typing because it is just impossible. I watch her type for a few minutes while I’m waiting for the coffee.
I check to see what she has written and, although it is substantial, it is not good enough to add to my blog.
Around 4:15 the coffee is done, so I push Cookie off my lap and pour a cup.
I sit back down at the computer and begin to type. My big fat orange cat, Punky, starts sharpening his claws on the fancy area rug, “Punk! Knock that off!” I yell. He howls back at me in disrespect then demands to be let outside. I jump up and let him out right away because at least now one of them will be out of my hair.
Again, I start typing. Cookie wants out. This is great news because she is the worst when it comes to working my nerves. I let her out and Punky runs back in. Now, I know if I pick him up and throw him out Cookie will run back in and everything will become much worse, so I just let Punky run-off into the dark part of the house and try to forget about him.
It is now about 5:00 am and nothing has been written.
Cookie wants back in. I can’t just leave her out because then she will start climbing the screens to get my attention. So, I let her in.
Now the fun begins.
The cats start chasing each other through the house at top speed—periodically stopping to hunch-up in a “Halloween Cat” pose at each other. Pretty soon it gets so bad with them scrambling all over the furniture that I’m forced to chase after them with a squirt-gun and blast them into submission.
Another hour slips by and the inspiration to write has taken a detour. Even though my favorite time to write is first thing in the morning, I usually wind-up postponing it until after breakfast. At least, by this time, the cats have settled down.
Going through all this every morning makes me wonder what kinds of illegal drugs you’d have to abuse in order to come up with the new game show set to air on GSN November 15th called, Think Like a Cat: The Meow Mix Game Show.
The show—which I swear on Dave Barry’s grave I am not making up—will highlight humans and cats competing for a chance to win $1 million dollars and $100,000 for their favorite cat-related charity. The show will also feature—get this—interactive challenges in which “cats and humans must work together to succeed.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m going to watch this just for the gore. Can you imagine trying to “work together” with your cat on stage when the live audience erupts into applause? If your cat is anything like mine, this will instantly transform it into a highly-effective runaway buzz-saw.
Hey! I just got a great idea for a drinking game: every time the host (Chuck Woolery) runs away screaming, “Not in the face!” you have to do a shot of tequila.
Dead Rooster is the online home of 
OH MY–this sounds too similar to my morning with my zoo!
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William McCamment
reply on August 28th, 2008 8:15 pm:
So, I’m not alone then…
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I may have to get cable.
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William McCamment
reply on August 28th, 2008 8:16 pm:
It may be worth it just for this crazy show!
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William your so ready to write and have a novel published.
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 7:55 am:
Thanks, man. I appreciate that.
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Aren’t cats adorable creatures? haha
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 7:55 am:
Yes, yes they are. LOL
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Wait a minute–Dave Barry’s dead?
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 7:54 am:
No! Dave’s not dead–that was my attempt at humor. LOL
I was wondering how long it would take before someone mentioned that.
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Gosh, it sounds like a Three Stooges act with two of the Stooges bearing an unnatural amount of hair…
I sent this to a friend who has three cats, and she attests to your accuracy in this tale… or tail.
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 8:27 am:
Those cats have made a stooge out of me plenty of times.
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There’s also the time it takes to remind the fuzzballs that if they succeed in tripping you and breaking your neck there will be no one there to feed them and see to their comfort.
Oh, by the way, did the title tag work?
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 10:15 am:
That’s a great point! They better be careful. LOL
Title tag? If you are referring to my last post, yes, it worked–very well.
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I had to laugh at the thought of you chasing the cats with a squirt gun!
btw that show sounds like a furry train wreck!!
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 11:56 am:
I know, I can’t wait to see it!
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I always try to “work together” with my human, but she just doesn’t get it!
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 2:20 pm:
Maybe if you offered her a cat-treat once in a while…
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I am pretty sure Cookie and Punky are ready for their own blog!
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 2:16 pm:
As you know, if they’re not willing to wear the fancy costumes, they don’t deserve their own blog.
…and, this time, I mean it!
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Sounds like your cats rule. I wish mine would jump up on my lap–neither of them are lap cats. They do like running around like mad through the house but both stay inside. Look forward to seeing that cat show. I love “The Great American Dog” show so this sounds very similar, but will probably be hilarious!
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William McCamment
reply on August 29th, 2008 2:25 pm:
Both my cats like to sit on my lap, but it’s not always so great. Sure it’s nice on a crisp fall morning while you’re reading a book, but when you’re trying to type out a blog post on a hot August afternoon, it can get annoying.
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I love cats! They are such lovable pets though sometimes they do get on my nerves too. Anyway, i enjoy their companies as much as they enjoy mine:)
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William McCamment
reply on August 31st, 2008 7:37 pm:
Kitties–you gotta’ love’em.
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What is it with male orange cats being fat?
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William McCamment
reply on August 31st, 2008 7:37 pm:
I don’t know, but mine sure is.
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Away from being a Human Cat myself, it seems they were blogging by their own way :S
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William McCamment
reply on September 19th, 2008 10:15 am:
I think my cats might be blogging while I’m not looking. Of course, they won’t let me know the URL’s. Sneaky little boogers!
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I know you’re pain about animals interrupting the creative process. I seem to always inherit cats, and now the dogs are joining in on the destruction of my nerves.
But the game show sounds intriguing. I may have to give it a look-see.
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William McCamment
reply on September 19th, 2008 10:17 am:
Sometimes, they seem to work together, like they spent some time and formed a plan or something.
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I too love cats we had a cat when I was in 10 years old, cats are always so cute, I love to have one cat but now my parents are not like that.
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William McCamment
reply on October 7th, 2008 4:12 am:
Yes. Even though they drive me crazy, I still love them.
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I love cat’s face expression, Cat’s keep their face like a baby after did the crazy actions also.
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