DeadRooster.com

Photo credit: Jacob Bøtter

WARNING: People are going to die in this blog post. But, it’s OK because they are virtual people and you probably don’t know them personally.

I am not normally a cranky person. What happens though—sometimes—is that I get frustrated when I can’t seem to do something so simple that even a monkey of random intelligence should be able to do: like find a decent place on my blog to put my tiny Humor-Blogs banner. I spent two hours today placing it in different places until I just decided to leave it right where it started from: down at the bottom right sidebar as part of a widget (clicking it will give me a mild electric shock…you will also be transported to a great directory of funny web sites).

Having wasted two-hours of my day which could’ve been spent writing about Hitler’s secret dream of becoming a Disney Sketch Artist, I was plenty upset with myself. Then I found something that made me feel much better.

Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum Edition is a sim game in which you can design and build your very own amusement park featuring extremely dangerous roller coasters. I don’t have the time or patience to do this myself, but I tracked down this video showcasing what would happen if you deliberately and sadistically aimed a speeding roller coaster directly at a long line of waiting amusement park visitors.

The screams and fiery explosion at the end is very satisfying. I have no idea why something so gruesome should relieve stress–and it makes me wonder about my own mental health–but it sure seems to do the trick.

Notice that I have linked to the Platinum Edition of Rollercoaster Tycoon 3. This is because the Platinum Edition comes bundled with the Soaked! and Wild! expansion packs. Soaked! adds water park features and the Wild! expansion pack adds–and this is where roller coaster disasters could get very interesting–six different zoological-style animals! Imagine the enormous amounts of stress you could relieve with a hippopotamus on the track!

I would probably not be accused of understatement if I compared this potential scene to a furious water balloon explosion.

If you’re ever stressing really hard just remember the above video and give it another viewing. See if you don’t feel better (if that doesn’t work, you could try clicking my Humor-Blogs banner and find a site that really makes you laugh).