DeadRooster.com

Photo credit: NeonMan

The recent Silence The Rooster ad campaign to promote the popular sleep aid, AmbienCR, has proved to be a wild success—not necessarily for the company selling the drug—but for completely unrelated humor-oriented blogs such as the one you are reading right now.

See, bloggers, such as myself, will latch on to nearly anything that might bring extra exposure without actually having to do any real work. Because, let’s face it, writing interesting content is hard. So, when a dim-witted ad campaign comes along featuring an obnoxious rooster, I’m all over it.

To give you an idea of how effective this “easy exposure” technique can be, let me show you the noticeable jump in traffic I received after writing a simple related article:

DeadRooster.com’s average daily traffic before ad campaign: 1

DeadRooster.com’s average daily traffic after ad campaign: 265,789

Ha! OK, I was only kidding. Dead Rooster’s average daily traffic before the ad campaign was around 1,000 visitors per day and after taking advantage of the Silence The Rooster ad running on TV’s across America (The ad does not run outside the US), I’ve pulled in about 5,500 extra visitors per day for the past three days. That’s more than a 600% increase!

Of course, after the ad stops running and people lose interest, I will once again be forced to write something interesting in order to inspire traffic; a welcome concept, I’m sure, to my regular readers.

So, this will be the last crappy post for a while—from now on, it’s back to the chain-fighting Elvis impersonators and cream-corn-filled llamas you’ve come to expect here at Dead Rooster.

Note: After I get back into the humor grove for a while, and you’ve forgiven me for pimping my blog out to the easy search-engine keyword grab, I will explain how I was able to steal the top spot on the front page of several search engines for the most popular key phrase at the time. It was pure genius. LOL

By the way, I know it’s Silence “Your” Rooster and not Silence “The” Rooster, but there’s a lot of traffic I’m missing out on…

Have you ever had to run for your life while being chased by a radioactive ape? Well, if you have, then you know exactly how out-of-breath you’re likely to be from laughing after you visit the BRAND NEW HumorBloggers.com

Today is the grand opening!

The site is dedicated to the top 50 funniest blogs on the net and, yes, Dead Rooster is one of them. Ha ha! Take THAT Bill O’Reilly!

I was extremely honored when Chelle B asked if she could add Dead Rooster to the list. In addition to maintaining HumorBloggers.com, Chelle also authors The Offended Blogger, which is consistently the highest ranked humor blog at BlogCatalog; she’s been up there for so long that I’ve given up trying to catch her. At any rate, she knows her humor and I know that HumorBloggers.com is going to be a great success.

Now get on over there and check it out! CLICK HERE to go there right now!

WHOA! I almost forgot about the kangaroo! How about we turn it into a contest? The best comment I get explaining what one should do with a kangaroo filled with creamed corn wins 500 entrecard points. How’s that? *Contest Expired* Winner is…Jenn! (read her comment below and you’ll see why. LOL Hilarious! ).

You can also Jump-the-Shark by voting for Dead Rooster at a similar-sounding, but different site: Humor-Blogs.com

Photo credit: mnd.ctrl

The original title of this post was going to be, “I’m not dead, just a little twisted,” but I was afraid you would get the wrong idea thinking the word “twisted” meant “diabolically crazy” when, in fact, my meaning was more along the lines of, “Hey, everyone, look at me! My spine is ‘twisted’ and it’s forcing me to walk around like a toddler.”

My spine is not normally twisted, but if you check the date of my previous post, July, 29th you will notice it is precisely the same date as the popular earthquake we had here in southern California. What’s interesting about that is, just before I published that post, I was leaning back in my chair proofreading, feet up on the desk with my beautiful calico cat, Cookie, on my lap purring and drooling.

Then it hit.

In a straight line, the epicenter of the earthquake was only about 38 miles away from the Dead Rooster Mansion, or, in terms of driving time, if you took our sophisticated southern California freeway system, it would take approximately 9 days.

It started with the sensation of falling through a trapdoor, which caused me to flail my arms and legs which prompted Cookie to sink her claws into my leg thus causing me to lurch forward and in the process yank my spine out of joint. After that there was just a lot of shaking; hanging-lamps swinging; paintings rattling against the wall, etc.

I’ve messed my back up before, and what usually happens is, at first, it seems like a funny little kink, then after an hour or so, you slowly start to hunch over like Quasimodo.

This time the “hunching” began for me after I drove down to Subway to get a foot-long turkey sandwich. When I got there and stood at the back of the line, I was a tall 6’2” viable human being, but by the time I reached the checkout, I was a 4’9” crippled circus freak.

I grabbed my food and hobbled across the parking lot chimpanzee style. I received cheers from the crowd as I managed to make it to my car without spilling my drink or physically dragging the foot-long sandwich on the ground behind me.

I drove home and sat on the couch in a position resembling that of a stunt man with a box of lit dynamite under his chair waiting for the explosion. I’ve been sitting there like that for the past two weeks unable to move. I couldn’t even THINK of typing anything.

But, now, I’m starting to feel better. I’ve still got what I call a “monkey knot” in my back, but I am able to type, and that’s good enough for now. I feel a little rusty, but I’m just going to start typing and hope something falls out.

Looking back at the title of this post has revealed yet another problem: I actually am dead…as in, dead rooster. Arg! Well, I’m not changing it again.

I dare you to vote for this at Humor-Blogs.com