Incredibly Hot: The Dead Rooster MySpace Page
I am irresistible to hot, young, horny women. I learned this last night while I was setting up Dead Rooster’s new MySpace page. Before I knew it I had invitations from four incredibly hot girls wanting to be my friend, because—you know—super hot girls have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than sit at home with a computer and desperately search for The Dead Rooster MySpace page.
One of them, calling herself Tina, referred to me as “Sweetie,” and just wanted to let me know there was a devastating wardrobe malfunction in the hot tub while splashing around with her girlfriends. Somehow, they all wound-up naked, and since they were wet, had to dry themselves off by jumping up-and-down on a trampoline in slow-motion. The whole thing was mysteriously caught on camera and I should watch the video right away before Tina’s dad finds out and spanks her raw with a cat o’ nine tails (I’m guessing that will be tomorrow’s video).
I delete these types of friend requests right away because, as I’ve explained in the past, I know it’s really some overly-sweaty bald guy named Frank who probably doesn’t even have a hot tub or a trampoline.
So, I unchecked the “Dating” and “Serious Relationship” boxes and haven’t had another “friend request” since. In fact, as I write this, the only friend I’ve got on there is “Tom,” the dopey generic friend they automatically give everyone when they sign-up (hmm, maybe Tom is actually a hot, young, horny woman).
Visit The Dead Rooster MySpace Page
Comments
Comment from ettarose
Time: June 23, 2008, 4:19 am
For a defender of Princesses that bald guy doesn’t know what he is missing! I also have a MySpace page but I don’t use it much. I feel like a nasty old peeping Sue when I am on there! Once in a while I check from friends. Too many pervs and I have gotten a virus. Thank god I could remove it. Not like Herpes, which is a friend for life. Maybe I will stalk you there. 
Comment from Bradley
Time: June 23, 2008, 7:55 am
Maybe it’s the sweaty bald guy who you’d find bouncing on a trampoline. That might have given a laugh, if nothing else.
Comment from Wayne
Time: June 23, 2008, 9:46 am
hahahaha! So true, yet so sad huh. I get those every now and then, and for a brief, split nanosecond you feel incredible, manly even, but then you realize that it’s just spam. Sigh…I’m going to friend you on there. You are too entertaining to ignore. Cheers!
William McCamment reply on June 23rd, 2008 8:22 pm:
Thanks! And, thanks for the add!
Comment from FunBox Comedy
Time: June 23, 2008, 5:10 pm
That’s a great piece of advice. Thanks. Maybe we’ll stop getting those too now.
William McCamment reply on June 23rd, 2008 8:24 pm:
I wonder how people looking for legitimate dates do it…so much spam!
Comment from Jane
Time: June 23, 2008, 7:09 pm
Lol William
I’m off to add you..same name so you’ll know its me
William McCamment reply on June 23rd, 2008 8:25 pm:
At least I know you’re a real girl. LOL
Comment from Jenn Thorson
Time: June 24, 2008, 6:21 am
Looks like Dead Rooster is tapping into an entirely new fanbase. The sweaty bald man market. But hey, sweaty bald men are people, too. Don’t they need the occasional laugh, like after their toupee has flipped over unbeknownst to them? Sure they do.
William McCamment reply on June 24th, 2008 11:20 am:
Jenn, you are SO funny! LOL You never cease to make me laugh.
Don’t underestimate the Sweaty Bald Man market. I heard the have LOTS of time to spend on the computer reading blogs!
Comment from Adam
Time: June 24, 2008, 10:07 am
haha! I’ve had a few of those too it’s pretty funny. No matter how weird the story is… If your girlfriend spots the request she gets mad…
William McCamment reply on June 24th, 2008 11:25 am:
What’s REALLY funny is checking out all the knuckleheads in their “friends space” as if it’s a real person. LOL
Comment from offendedblogger
Time: June 24, 2008, 11:40 am
I have a MySpace page too, but I also feel a bit weird going over there so my page is pretty much abandoned.
We need an over-30 and not (as) perverted version of MySpace!!
William McCamment reply on June 24th, 2008 3:24 pm:
An over 30 version of MySpace sounds like a great idea with a lot of potential. Maybe you should look into creating that (and, sharing the billions of dollars you’ll make with your favorite dead rooster).
Comment from Petra
Time: June 24, 2008, 2:58 pm
Hey! I like sweaty bald guys!
William McCamment reply on June 24th, 2008 3:29 pm:
I have no problem with sweaty bald guys as long as they represent themselves as “sweaty bald guys” and don’t try and pass themselves off as 21-year-old female hotties with an unquenchable lust for my body.
Comment from Bradley
Time: June 24, 2008, 6:30 pm
Come on guys, I’m a sweaty bald man, you just won’t see me bouncing around on trampolines on the net…well, unless you email that you’re into such things.
William McCamment reply on June 25th, 2008 1:35 pm:
You are definitely one of my favorite sweaty bald men; however, don’t hold your breath waiting for a trampoline request from me.
Comment from Qelqoth
Time: June 25, 2008, 4:40 am
Added you on MySpace. Now there is no escaping my undeniable brilliance.
William McCamment reply on June 25th, 2008 1:40 pm:
The act of adding me on MySpace is undeniably brilliant all by itself!
Comment from Deb on the Rocks
Time: June 25, 2008, 4:19 pm
I hate it when I am on my knees and being all private just to find out I was secretly taped. Jeez! Is nothing sacred?
Comment from matt
Time: June 27, 2008, 3:56 am
Hey Sugardumpling!! if my company didnt block out myspace i’d check it out darling, hunny bunny, lambchop, smoochie pie, love bug, pooopsie-poo. love, Steve the Trucker
William McCamment reply on June 27th, 2008 5:07 am:
The important thing is that your company doesn’t block DeadRooser.com
Comment from Joe
Time: June 27, 2008, 10:57 am
Not all sweaty bald guys are named Frank. Some are named Joe.
On my MySpace page, I have lots of friends who are nubile young women. They are my daughter’s RW friends. I feel dirty, now. 
William McCamment reply on June 29th, 2008 9:26 am:
Forget those young, nubile women and go back to yelling at cars!
Comment from Chelle
Time: June 27, 2008, 4:56 pm
I quit using myspace awhile ago…my friends all sucked and didn’t want to talk to me anymore I guess? If you want people to leave you alone, check married - you’ll never get another friend request again!
William McCamment reply on June 29th, 2008 9:28 am:
I want friend requests, just not from some con-artist masquerading as a hottie.
Comment from Mamaflo
Time: June 28, 2008, 5:37 am
Hilarious doesn’t even come close to how this post made me feel - thank you so much for making me laugh so early!
I don’t worry about some “possibly” hot guy being an ugly old woman as much as I worry it’s some kid posing as an adult. I hate the idea that innocent people have to worry about this issue at all.
Comment from John Sullivan
Time: June 30, 2008, 3:50 am
hey William
That’s pretty cool but I always thought myspace was pretty lame.
I came across a place for people over 40 and it’s pretty cool
tbd [dot] com and I have been getting a lot of visitors from this cool little site here
lazzeo [dot] com
Anyway I was just making my rounds and wanted to say HIGH;)
Hope all is well.
William McCamment reply on June 30th, 2008 4:22 am:
Hey John!
Thanks for the info and thanks for friending me on MySpace.
It’s lame, but I’m just using it as yet another way to promote Dead Rooster.
Comment from Static
Time: July 6, 2008, 6:49 pm
Tom (myspace creator) is actually a fat bald guy jumping up and down on a trampoline, he’s a con-artist who makes all his money masquerading as a hottie on myspace.
Feel free to add me William.
William McCamment reply on June 23rd, 2008 5:32 am:
Yes! Stalk me please! I need some legitimate “Friends”
Kevin at PointlessBanter says he’s gotten hundreds of visitors to his blog through his MySpace page, so I thought I’d give it a shot. But, he’s an expert in social networking. I’m sure there’s a trick to it.
[Reply to this comment]
ettarose reply on June 23rd, 2008 12:40 pm:
That is because Kevin begs. I don’t know if you can stoop as low as Kevin.
[Reply to this comment]