I Could Tell You, But then I’d have to Kill Everyone
OK, so I’ve been gone for a few days weeks months and you’re wondering what happened to me. Well, reality has a way of sneaking up behind you, slobbering in your ear causing a really creepy sensation that, instinctively, forces you to turn around, poke it in the eye thus angering it to the point of spitting highly-toxic, somewhat corrosive lava sauce all over your face…
(Sorry… I know I went a little too far there… but, I haven’t been writing lately and I’m out of practice…)
The truth is I’m self-employed, and being self-employed during an economic downturn is tough. The need to carry on the lavish lifestyle in which I’ve grown accustomed–consisting mainly of me sitting around the backyard drinking margaritas and writing blog posts–has forced me to spend most of my free time testing yet another money-making scheme that generates even more money than can be conceived of in my wildest dreams and hope that, this time, it actually works.
I haven’t hit on the precise method yet… but, I know I’ve got to be getting close. I’m nearly positive the next $97 ebook I purchase will reveal the one-true-secret to amassing an enormous fortune.
I’ve had to make some unspeakable sacrifices lately too; including selling the Lamborghini and driving around in–you guessed it–a Ferrari. Yuk! (I can already hear the guests at the Playboy Mansion giggling as I pull-up to the gate in that!).
Things haven’t been all bad though: I’ve met up with a beautiful young girl that, for some crazy reason, considers me boyfriend material. Although it’s true that trying to keep up with her–a hottie nearly fourteen years younger than me–takes more time away from my blogging than anything else, you won’t hear me complaining about that! 
Anyway, I’ve been spending time on Twitter and several of my loyal readers have noticed me and asked where I’ve been. It’s great to have so many friends out there and it’s one of the main reasons I’m getting my blogging act together and posting again. I miss you guys!
So, here I am. Let’s do this thing…
Dead Rooster is the online home of 
Hey, Rooster– welcome back! Nice to see ya! Sorry about the Lambo. But, hey, we all have to make sacrifices.
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William McCamment
reply on June 24th, 2009 6:43 am:
Thanks Jenn! Great to hear from you!
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Hey, you just popped up in my Reader! Welcome back. Um, that car? Do want!
ps: If you figure out the special money-making secret, can you let me know? Thank you.
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William McCamment
reply on June 24th, 2009 8:20 am:
Judging by your wardrobe, I think you may already have the special money-making secret.
…and, I suspect a solid-gold litter-box.
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I hope you still aren’t going to the Playboy Mansion .You promised!
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William McCamment
reply on June 24th, 2009 5:57 pm:
Not without you baby!
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It don’t matter if you go away or what you drive you still have some people that will consider you a friend no matter what happens
Have an awesome summer
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William McCamment
reply on June 25th, 2009 6:00 am:
Thanks John! I can always count on you to be my friend. I really appreciate that bro!
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You were missed. Welcome back!
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William McCamment
reply on June 25th, 2009 9:43 am:
Thanks TT! I appreciate that!
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Great. You’re back. And I spent a lot of time planning a funeral
partyceremony in case something bad had happened to you!Oh, well. I’ve got eight king-size bags of Doritos all for myself! Welcome back!
*crunch*
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William McCamment
reply on June 25th, 2009 8:52 pm:
Thanks Omar! I’ve missed you guys!
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I have missed you so very much. You tell that little strumpet you are seeing she better treat you right. After all you are a rescuer of Princesses and besides I WILL kick her skinny young butt if she doesn’t.
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William McCamment
reply on June 26th, 2009 11:58 am:
Easy girl! You know you’ll always be my princess!
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Hey! Nice to have you back,and congratulations on the new girlfriend!!
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William McCamment
reply on June 26th, 2009 12:01 pm:
Thanks! It’s so great to be back and see all my fellow bloggers visiting again!
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It lives!!
Sorry to hear that you have to slum it round in a Ferrari, by jove that is harsh on you.
:p
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William McCamment
reply on June 26th, 2009 12:02 pm:
Yes, driving around in that Ferrari is tough to take, but, until I reach megastardom again, I’m going to have to cut some corners. LOL
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My god, I had visions of you meeting accident with hot air balloon/rollercoaster/wayward hair-cutting device. Phew. Welcome back!
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William McCamment
reply on June 26th, 2009 3:55 pm:
I did! You should see the photo! LOL
Thanks Tiggy!
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