I’m Not Dead, Just a Little Shaken
Photo credit: mnd.ctrl
The original title of this post was going to be, “I’m not dead, just a little twisted,” but I was afraid you would get the wrong idea thinking the word “twisted” meant “diabolically crazy” when, in fact, my meaning was more along the lines of, “Hey, everyone, look at me! My spine is ‘twisted’ and it’s forcing me to walk around like a toddler.”
My spine is not normally twisted, but if you check the date of my previous post, July, 29th you will notice it is precisely the same date as the popular earthquake we had here in southern California. What’s interesting about that is, just before I published that post, I was leaning back in my chair proofreading, feet up on the desk with my beautiful calico cat, Cookie, on my lap purring and drooling.
Then it hit.
In a straight line, the epicenter of the earthquake was only about 38 miles away from the Dead Rooster Mansion, or, in terms of driving time, if you took our sophisticated southern California freeway system, it would take approximately 9 days.
It started with the sensation of falling through a trapdoor, which caused me to flail my arms and legs which prompted Cookie to sink her claws into my leg thus causing me to lurch forward and in the process yank my spine out of joint. After that there was just a lot of shaking; hanging-lamps swinging; paintings rattling against the wall, etc.
I’ve messed my back up before, and what usually happens is, at first, it seems like a funny little kink, then after an hour or so, you slowly start to hunch over like Quasimodo.
This time the “hunching” began for me after I drove down to Subway to get a foot-long turkey sandwich. When I got there and stood at the back of the line, I was a tall 6’2” viable human being, but by the time I reached the checkout, I was a 4’9” crippled circus freak.
I grabbed my food and hobbled across the parking lot chimpanzee style. I received cheers from the crowd as I managed to make it to my car without spilling my drink or physically dragging the foot-long sandwich on the ground behind me.
I drove home and sat on the couch in a position resembling that of a stunt man with a box of lit dynamite under his chair waiting for the explosion. I’ve been sitting there like that for the past two weeks unable to move. I couldn’t even THINK of typing anything.
But, now, I’m starting to feel better. I’ve still got what I call a “monkey knot” in my back, but I am able to type, and that’s good enough for now. I feel a little rusty, but I’m just going to start typing and hope something falls out.
Looking back at the title of this post has revealed yet another problem: I actually am dead…as in, dead rooster. Arg! Well, I’m not changing it again.
I dare you to vote for this at Humor-Blogs.com
Comments
Comment from Billy Warhol
Time: August 12, 2008, 9:43 pm
Well i tried to Vote* So is it Shaken or is this some kinda Twisted Humour********
;))
Comment from John Sullivan
Time: August 12, 2008, 9:52 pm
Ah next time unless your dead we are not going for any excuses.
William,
I set my rotation around the internet and my clock to your post
so now I’m all twisted.Well thank God your ok and back on track.
Look forward to you getting back in stride and posting up the best of the best:)
stumbled and all that other stuff.
Thanks for your feedback and support it has helped me greatly Thank YOU;)
Comment from Stefanie
Time: August 12, 2008, 10:41 pm
What was the magnitude of the earth quake? We had a 5.2 a few months ago and I still freak out every time anything shakes. For weeks I was jolted from sleep just from the cats jumping on the bed or my husband moving… I’m such a wimp, but it was my first earthquake, so that’s my excuse 
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 4:29 am:
The official magnitude was 5.4 but on CNN they made it sound like Armageddon (and, they kept reporting it as a 5.8).
Comment from Jane
Time: August 13, 2008, 3:23 am
Geeze William ! I hope you get better soon x
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 4:31 am:
Thanks! I am getting there.
Comment from Milena
Time: August 13, 2008, 5:11 am
Finally. Just as I’d found your blog, was enjoying it and added the rss to my google page, you went quiet. Not that I have any right to throw stones as I do this often enough myself but I digress… Well, so sorry to hear you hurt yourself but glad to hear you are on the mend. Warm electric pad on the back works wonders for if you haven’t tried it already. On a related note, nothing happened to the books right? 
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 5:38 am:
Sorry about the delay. I’m usually really good about posting at least once a week.
The earthquake was pretty strong, but I didn’t loose anything. The only real damage was to my back and to my leg where my cat got me.
Comment from Lord Likely
Time: August 13, 2008, 5:35 am
The earth often moves for me too, but that is another story entirely.
I wish you a speedy recovery, sir!
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 5:45 am:
Thank you, your lordship!
Given the content of your blog, I imagine the earth moves for you quite often. LOL
Comment from Debbie Lane
Time: August 13, 2008, 7:18 am
gee, the earthquake was my birthday, I hope I didn’t cause it from all the moving and shaking I was doing!
To quote Spamalot, You’re not dead yet!
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 3:55 pm:
So, that was you making all that racket? LOL
I’m not dead. I…feel…happy!
Comment from Nessa
Time: August 13, 2008, 7:20 am
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can’t stop laughing but i’m realy glad you’re okay. I’ll go vote for sure.
Comment from Uni
Time: August 13, 2008, 9:25 am
Go get a massage!!!!! Find a good Shiatsu therapist.
At least it wasnt a 6.2 centered at Big Bear! You’d be wearing a t-shirt as pants again (that still makes me giggle)
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 4:00 pm:
Why would I go to a massage therapist when I can go get re-crippled by a sadistic chiropractor (more on that later). LOL
I intend to write about the earthquake from hell in a future post. That was a good one!
Uni reply on August 13th, 2008 4:43 pm:
The massage wont recripple you….unless maybe I did it, but then you’d just feel beat up with a stick for a day or two.
And you best be careful on the earthquake from hell post….LOL…I read this.
William McCamment reply on August 14th, 2008 5:10 am:
Hopefully, you wouldn’t actually use a stick! LOL
Don’t worry, the only one that ever looks like an idiot on this blog is me.
Comment from ettarose
Time: August 13, 2008, 7:10 pm
Well thank the Gods! I was worried about you. Not like you to disappear. I have really missed you. A hurt back is the worst!
William McCamment reply on August 14th, 2008 5:16 am:
Thanks! I appreciate the kind words. You are the best!
Comment from Jenn
Time: August 14, 2008, 12:38 pm
So the reason you’re injured is because you twisted your back because your CAT buckled down, bracing herself for disaster?
Gosh, Rooster, that is one of the saddest injury stories I’ve heard…I don’t even think there’s a Hallmark card I can send you for that.
Here’s hoping you feel better mighty soon. Been kinda worried about ya– and rightfully so, I guess.
William McCamment reply on August 14th, 2008 8:48 pm:
I CAN’T BELIEVE there is no Hallmark card for this. I just can’t believe it.
Thanks, Jenn!
Comment from Petra
Time: August 14, 2008, 5:48 pm
Suck it up!!! Do you think Shakespeare whined like a girl when he messed his back up? Not saying that he did, just saying he probably would have whined about it….
ahem… glad you are ok, dude.
Comment from Hilary
Time: August 15, 2008, 4:02 am
That’s why we moved to Texas!!
Hope you feel tip-top soon.
William McCamment reply on August 15th, 2008 9:08 pm:
You moved to Texas to get away from earthquakes? What about hurricanes? They are even scarier!
Thanks for the get well wishes!
Comment from timethief
Time: August 15, 2008, 7:30 pm
Wow! Here I thought I had won the prize for bizarre accidents and you have topped me. I’m so sorry to here you are bent out of shape. Get well very soon.
William McCamment reply on August 15th, 2008 9:10 pm:
Thanks, Timethief!
I am still pretty crooked. I hate this! LOL
Comment from weezerific
Time: August 23, 2008, 1:33 am
Having just found your blog while trying to figure out what the heck the Silence your Rooster ads are about, I have to say that not only am I really happy to find your VERY funny blog, but I also totally sympathize with your earthquake problem… Earlier this week in the middle of the night my husband decided to do some sort of acrobatic jump instead of rolling over in bed like a normal person, and I woke up convinced it was the biggest earthquake ever… Nearly gave me a heart attack–
William McCamment reply on September 2nd, 2008 8:41 pm:
Thanks! Haha! Sleep acrobatics? LOL
William McCamment reply on August 13th, 2008 4:25 am:
It’s both! I think.
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